Welcome to Midweek Musings, where I take the random, chaotic, and occasionally profound thoughts from my journal and throw them into the void (aka your inbox). Think of it as a peek inside my brain — except I’ve filtered out the truly unhinged stuff (you’re welcome).
Some musings will be deep, some will be ridiculous, and some will make you wonder if I should get more sleep. Either way, I felt like they needed to be shared, and now they’re your problem too. Enjoy!
My best friend’s son is almost one. It’s making me think about how fast time flies by — how quickly one can change and grow in one year. A year ago, I was still living on Oahu, in a beautiful house in Kaimuki. Freshly graduated from college and working at European Wax Center, I really had nothing to my name by a cell phone (at 23!), my cats, and student loan debt. But I was happy. I was spending time outside; I was writing; I was praying; I was celebrating being alive. I was the happiest and healthiest I’d ever been.
In April of last year, my grandmother died, I moved to Vegas a week later, and I felt all of my progres begin to disintegrate. I was grateful to have been able to transfer to another European Wax Center and still be making money. And with a second job at The NOW Massage under my belt I was able to at least afford my room, groceries, and my phone bill, which was all I really needed. But, I had no kind of routine and I was taking public transit everywhere, which felt both annoying and unproductive. I had no friends in Vegas outside of my roommates, their dogs, and a few people I’d met on dating apps and friend-zoned.
As I’m writing this 10 months later, I’m kind of in awe of how much has changed. Firstly, I’m no longer at either European Wax Center or the NOW. Instead, I am a third, more sinister thing (unemployed). However, I have made so much progress in so many other ways. For starters, I am more sure now than I’ve ever been of what exactly my purpose is here in this crazy, doomed world and what exactly I would like to do with my life. I have made a solid plan/pathway to get to exactly where I’m trying to be and I feel extremely confident in my ability to make it happen. I’m in the process of moving into an apartment with my boyfriend, and I’ve finally gotten a new copy of my birth certificate, which I’d been putting off for almost two years now. I am very proud of myself.
My best friend’s son is almost one, but just yesterday we were 18. I met Angie my first week at HPU and we’ve been pretty much inseparable ever since. We were babies then, and itk felt like every new thing we experienced, we got to experience either physically together or simultaneously, the Universe always keeping us in sync. I guess in a way, we still are. We’re just in different phases of our lives now. I love seeing Angie as a mother — it is one of my greatest joys in this life. I’m excited for the day I get to experience motherhood alongside her. I know it will be a pleasure.
I wonder where I’ll be in a year from now. I hope I have a Maine Coon. I hope I have car and that I’m playing the clarinet again. I hope I have continued to be showered in love — I do a pretty good job vetting the people I keep around me.